Let’s be clear. I’m shallow. I like good-looking people. I only flirt with good-looking people. I judge the book by its cover. If your flesh cover doesn’t appeal to me, there’s a snowball’s chance in hell that I’ll be interested. (I’ll give you time to pass judgment on me and say, “Oh my God. How can she be so superficial?” Are you done yet? Ok. I’ll continue.) In the hormone-fueled world of the internet, a profile photo allows me to make a snap judgement. With that in mind, may I make a suggestion? If you’re attempting to attract a female, you might not want to scare the hell out of her.
This man is looking for that special someone with whom to share his obsession with the Manson Family. Nothing says “romance” more than a visit to the Spahn Ranch. He didn’t mean to kill his previous girlfriends. After chloroforming those two teenagers, he forgot to make sure their airways were unobstructed. No worries. He has learned his lesson and no longer gags girls with their own underwear.
What girl wouldn’t want to bring a doctor home to meet her parents? Sure… He looks like he makes his own surgical instruments. But, that just means he’s thrifty.
-“Honey, do you know where I put the mellon baller?”
-“Don’t worry, Mom. My boyfriend took it. He’s performing cataract surgery today.”
What girl could resist the charms of this dashing fellow? Nothing says “sexy” more than a man with a lab coat, a syringe and a variety of unknown bodily fluids. On the upside, the lucky chica who wins this guy will always vacation in exotic countries that don’t check to confirm his medical credentials. Where else can he find new “volunteers” for his experiments?